What, if You Could Have Only One Word, Would You Want on Your Tombstone?

This question goes back twenty years. It was asked of me by my friend and co-laborer Laurence Windham. Laurence has a preternatural gift of asking what he calls “diagnostic questions,” questions that slip into ordinary conversation that end up, before we know what has happened, exposing our souls. I, having known Laurence for some time, had learned to be on my guard when he asked it. I took a minute or two to think it through and answered this way—“I know what I would want on my tombstone, but I also know what I ought to want on my tombstone.” He gave me liberty to give both. “Well,” I said, “were I completely honest, when I consider the kind of reputation I long to have, my answer would be this—I’d like my tombstone to say this of me, ‘Courageous.’ But, a good portion of that desire is born out of my pride. Looking at the question objectively, what I ought to want on my tombstone is this, ‘Righteous.’”

The great thing about Laurence’s diagnostic questions, the real power comes in the hard reality that we’re not on our guard, and we don’t have much time to come up with a pious answer. Instead we usually give an honest one. The second great thing is that they really do get to the heart of the matter, our own hearts. These kinds of questions, however, if we do allow them to percolate, have the potential over time to change our hearts. They reveal our sin in the short term, giving us time to repent and believe in the long term.

Which brings me to my current answer. I still love and long for courage, love and long for righteousness. As time goes on however I come to know more and more how much I fall short. And thus my current answer would be this—repentant. If I could be known for one thing, to friends, family, and even to the broader world, I pray it would be that I am a repentant man. When I die I pray that those who speak good words about me at my funeral would have just this to say about me, “He was a man who was quick, and deep to repent.”

Given that the first time I was asked this Laurence gave me wiggle room to give two answers, one more honest, the other more pious, I want again to plead for a second answer. Right under repentant I would hope I could have another descriptive for my life—grateful. The good news isn’t merely that His Spirit gives us the power to repent, but that if we confess our sins He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Repentance is that which brings us to forgiveness, to adoption, which ought, of course, to lead us to gratitude. I don’t repent with a vague hope that I might somehow be forgiven. I repent in the joyous certainty of this faithful and true saying, that Christ came into this world to save sinners, of which I am chief.

My prayer is that insofar as I am remembered in my death, it will be for that which defines my life. I’m a sinner, saved by grace.

What Would Jonathan Edwards Say If a Teenage Girl Wrote to Him for Spiritual Advice?

In early April of 1741, the pastor of the church in Suffield (then part of Massachusetts, now part of Connecticut) passed away. On April 14, Jonathan Edwards filled the pulpit, and the church experienced an awakening to the things of the gospel. (Just three months later he would preach his famous sermon on “Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God” in neighboring Enfield, just 10 miles to the east across the Connecticut River.)

Six weeks after his return to Northampton from Suffield, he received a letter from 18-year-old Deborah Hatheway, who had been recently converted (perhaps under his preaching at her church) and wrote to him for spiritual counsel on how to live as a Christian. This letter (reprinted below from the Yale edition), was later published as Advice to Young Converts and became Edwards’s most famous printed work (after Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God), with hundred of thousands printed. It is an interesting window into Edwards’s gentle and pastoral tone with young people in particular.

– 91 –* * *

Northampton

June 3, 1741

Dear Child,

As you desired me to send you in writing some directions, how to conduct yourself in your Christian course, I would now answer your request. The sweet remembrance of the great things I have lately seen at Suffield, and the dear affections for those persons I have there conversed with, that give good evidences of a saving work of God upon their hearts, inclines me to do anything that lies in my power, to contribute to the spiritual joy and prosperity of God’s people there. And what I write to you, I would also say to other young women there, that are your friends and companions and the children of God; and therefore desire you would communicate it to them as you have opportunity.

[1] I would advise you to keep up as great a strife and earnestness in religion in all parts of it, as you would do if you knew yourself to be in a state of nature and was seeking conversion. We advise persons under convictions to be earnest and violent for the kingdom of heaven, but when they have attained to conversion they ought not to be the less watchful, laborious and earnest in the whole work of religion, but the more; for they are under infinitely greater obligations. For want of this, many persons in a few months after their conversion have begun to lose the sweet and lively sense of spiritual things, and to grow cold and Hat and dark, and have pierced themselves through with many sorrows, whereas if they had done as the Apostle did, Philippians 3:12-14, their path would have been as the shining light, that shines more and more unto the perfect day. Don’t leave off seeking, striving and praying for the very same things that we exhort unconverted persons to strive for, and a degree of which you have had in conversion. Thus pray that your eyes may be opened, that you may receive your sight, that you may know your self, and be brought to God’s foot, and that you may see the glory of God

– 92 –and Christ and may be raised from the dead, and have the love of Christ shed abroad in your heart; for those that have most of these things, had need still to pray for them; for there is so much blindness and hardness and pride and death remaining, that they still need to have that work of God wrought upon them, further to enlighten and enliven them; that shall be a bringing out of darkness into God’s marvelous light, and a kind of new conversion and resurrection from the dead. There are very few requests that are proper for a natural person, but that in some sense are proper for the godly.

[2] When you hear sermons hear ‘em for yourself: though what is spoken in them may be more especially directed to the unconverted, or to those that in other respects are in different circumstances from yourself. Yet let the chief intent of your mind be to consider with yourself, in what respects is this that I hear spoken, applicable to me, and what improvement ought I to make of this for my own soul’s good? Though God has forgiven and forgotten your past sins, yet don’t forget ‘em yourself: often remember what a wretched bond slave you was in the land of Egypt. Often bring to mind your particular acts of sin before conversion, as the blessed apostle Paul is often mentioning his old blaspheming, persecuting and injuriousness, to the renewed humbling of his heart and acknowledging that he was the least of the apostles, and not worthy to be called an apostle, and the least of all saints, and the chief of sinners. And be often in confessing your old sins to God, and let that text be often in your mind, Ezekiel 16:63, “That thou mayest remember and be confounded, and never open thy mouth any more because of thy shame, when I am pacified toward thee for all that thou hast done, saith the Lord God.” Remember that you have more cause, on some accounts a thousand times, to lament and humble yourself for sins that have been since conversion than before, because of the infinitely greater obligations that are upon you to live to God. And look upon the faithfulness of Christ in unchangeably continuing his loving favor, and the unspeakable and saving fruits of his everlasting love, notwithstanding all your great unworthiness since your conversion, to be as great or wonderful, as his grace in converting you. Be always greatly abased for your remaining sin, and never think that you lie low enough for it, but yet don’t be at all discouraged or disheartened by it; for though we are exceeding sinful, yet we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous, the preciousness of whose blood, and the merit of whose righteousness and the greatness

– 93 –of whose love and faithfulness does infinitely overtop the highest mountains of our sins.

[3] When you engage in the duty of prayer, or come to the sacrament of the Lord’s Supper, or attend any other duty of divine worship, come to Christ as Mary Magdalene did, Luke 7:37-38. Come and cast yourself down at his feet and kiss ‘em, and pour forth upon him the sweet perfumed ointment of divine love, out of a pure and broken heart, as she poured her precious ointment out of her pure, alabaster, broken box.

Remember that pride is the worst viper that is in the heart, the greatest disturber of the soul’s peace and sweet communion with Christ; it was the first sin that ever was, and lies lowest in the foundation of Satan’s whole building, and is the most difficultly rooted out, and is the most hidden, secret and deceitful of all lusts, and often creeps in, insensibly, into the midst of religion and sometimes under the disguise of humility. That you may pass a good judgment of the frames you are in, always look upon those the best discourses and the best comforts that have most of these two effects, viz. those that make you least, lowest, and most like a little child; and secondly, those that do most engage and fix your heart in a full and firm disposition to deny yourself for God, and to spend and be spent for him.

If at any time you fall into doubts about the state of your soul under darkness and dull frames of mind, ’tis proper to look over past experiences, but yet don’t consume too much of your time and strength in poring and puzzling thoughts about old experiences, that in dull frames appear dim and are very much out of sight, at least as to that which is the cream and life and sweetness of them: but rather apply yourself with all your might, to do an earnest pursuit after renewed experiences, new light, and new, lively acts of faith and love.

One new discovery of the glory of Christ’s face, and the fountain of his sweet grace and love will do more towards scattering clouds of darkness and doubting in one minute, than examining old experiences by the best mark that can be given, a whole year.

When the exercise of grace is at a low ebb, and corruption prevails, and by that means fear prevails, don’t desire to have fear cast out any other way, than by the reviving and prevailing of love, for ’tis not agreeable to the method of God’s wise dispensations that it should be cast out any other way; for when love is asleep, the saints need fear to restrain them from sin and therefore it is so ordered that at such times

– 94 –fear comes upon them, and that more or less as love sinks. But when love is in lively exercise, persons don’t need fear, and the prevailing of love in the heart, naturally tends to cast out fear, as darkness in a room vanishes away as you let more and more of the perfect beams of the sun into it, 1 John 4:18.

[4] You ought to be much in exhorting and counseling and warning others, especially at such a day as this, Hebrews 10:25. And I would advise you especially, to be much in exhorting children and young women your equals; and when you exhort others that are men, I would advise that you take opportunities for it, chiefly when you are alone with them, or when only young persons are present. See 1 Timothy 2:9, 1 Timothy 2:11-12.

When you counsel and warn others, do it earnestly, affectionately and thoroughly.

And when you are speaking to your equals, let your warnings be intermixed with expressions of your sense of your own unworthiness, and of the sovereign grace that makes you differ; and if you can with a good conscience, say how that you in yourself are more unworthy than they.

If you would set up religious meetings of young women by yourselves, to be attended once in a while, besides the other meetings that you attend, I should think it would be very proper and profitable. Under special difficulties, or when in great need of or great longings after any particular mercies for your self or others, set apart a day of secret fasting and prayer alone; and let the day be spent not only in petitions for the mercies you desired, but in searching your heart, and looking over your past life, and confessing your sins before God not as is wont to be done in public prayer, but by a very particular rehearsal before God, of the sins of your past life from your childhood hitherto, before and after conversion, with particular circumstances and aggravations, also very particularly and fully as possible, spreading all the abominations of your heart before him. Don’t let the adversaries of religion have it to say, that these converts don’t carry themselves any better than others. See Matthew 5:47, “What do ye more than others”; how holily should the children of God, and the redeemed and the beloved of the Son of God behave themselves? Therefore walk as a child of the light and of the day and adorn the doctrine of God your Savior; and particularly be much in those things, that may especially be called Christian virtues, and make you like the Lamb of God; be meek and lowly of heart and full of a pure, heavenly and humble love to all; and abound in deeds of love to others,

– 95 –and self-denial for others, and let there be in you a disposition to account others better than yourself.

[5] Don’t talk of things of religion and matters of experience with an air of lightness and laughter, which is too much the manner in many places. In all your course, walk with God and follow Christ as a little, poor, helpless child, taking hold of Christ’s hand, keeping your eye on the mark of the wounds on his hands and side, whence came the blood that cleanses you from sin and hiding your nakedness under the skirt of the white shining robe of his righteousness. Pray much for the church of God and especially that he would carry on his glorious work that he has now begun; and be much in prayer for the ministers of Christ, and particularly I would beg a special interest in your prayers, and the prayers of your Christian companions, both when you are alone and when you are together, for your affectionate friend, that rejoices over you, and desires to be your servant,

In Jesus Christ,

Jonathan Edwards.

—Source: Jonathan Edwards, “To Deborah Hatheway,” in Letters and Personal Writings, ed. George S. Claghorn, vol. 16 of The Works of Jonathan Edwards (New Haven, CT: Yale University Press, 1998), 91-95. Bracketed numbering and bold emphasis are mine.

No One Ever Said It Would Be This Hard

Nobody said it was easy;
No one ever said it would be this hard. (Coldplay, “The Scientist”)

O Christian Hedonism! That ancient, beautiful, biblical truth that our treasure is what most captures our heart (Matthew 6:21), that what measures our treasure is our pleasure, that if God is our “exceeding joy” (Psalm 43:4) then God’s pursuit of glory and our pursuit of happiness are one wonderful, wild pursuit! Because God is actually most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.

For many of us, putting the scriptural pieces together and seeing this truth was almost like a second conversion. We saw more good in the gospel than we had ever seen before: God doesn’t merely want us holy; he wants us happy! In fact, true happiness is true holiness.

And then Christian Hedonism left us devastated. Not because it was untrue, but because we were. It exposed us. We did not value the Pearl anywhere near his worth (Matthew 13:45–46). We found ourselves still too attracted to mud pies and too neglectful of the Sea.

We had set out to pursue the deepest, purest, most satisfying Joy that exists and found the world, the flesh, and the devil (Ephesians 2:1–3) fought us tooth and nail. They yielded no ground without a fight. Instead of experiencing joy, we often felt weary and discouraged.

All we were after was happiness. No one ever said it would be this hard, did they?

Indeed they did. We just hadn’t quite understood the extent before. In fact, the Pearl himself said:

“The way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:14);

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me” (Luke 9:23);

In order to have joy we must gouge out our eyes and cut off our hands if we need to (Matthew 5:29–30);

Holy, maximum happiness may cost us our family relationships and we will need to hate our earthly life in many ways to get it (Luke 14:26).

This is why the author of Desiring God wrote the book, When I Don’t Desire God: How to Fight for Joy. The former helps us understand what “the good fight of the faith” is all about (1 Timothy 6:12) — what is the good we’re fighting for. The latter is a field manual. The former shows us the panoramic view. The latter is for the ground war where we live, in the trenches with snipers shooting and mortar shells exploding. When an enemy attacks or when we’re strategizing to take a hill or when our stubborn darkness just won’t lift, what we need is very practical help.

The way is hard that leads to life. But let’s remember that the emphasis is not on “hard” but on “life.” The eternal (John 3:16), abundant (John 10:10), exceedingly joyful (Psalm 43:4) and forever pleasurable (Psalm 16:11) life is so worth the fight that we will someday look back at the very worst, darkest, horrible battles and see them as “light and momentary” (2 Corinthians 4:17).

And in the meantime, with the fiery darts still flying, let’s keep close at hand the Bible and field manuals such as When I Don’t Desire God to help us keep the shield of faith in place.

What Did Jesus Mean When He Said We Would Do Greater Work Than He Did?

First of all, he said that to his disciples and only to us indirectly, if at all. He is speaking to the first-century church, and he makes the statement that the works they do will be greater than the works that he performed (John 14:12). Let me tell you what I don’t think it means.

There are many today who believe that there are people running around this world right now who are performing greater miracles, performing miracles in greater abundance, and actually doing more incredible acts of divine healing than Jesus himself did. I can’t think of any more serious delusion than that, that somebody would actually think they have exceeded Jesus in terms of the works he has done. There’s nobody who comes close to the work that Jesus did.

There’s nobody who comes close to the work that Jesus did.

Some say that perhaps we can’t do greater works than Jesus individually but that corporately we are able to exceed in power the things that Jesus did. We see amazing things happening in the first-century church through the power that Christ gave to his apostles. We see people raised from the dead through Peter and Paul. But at the same time I would challenge people by telling them to add up all of the miracles that, according to New Testament records, were wrought through the hands of Paul, Peter, and the rest of the disciples corporately, put them all together, and see if they measure a greater degree than those which our Lord performed. If Jesus meant that people would do greater miracles than he performed in the sense of displaying more power and more astonishing things than he did, then obviously one of the works that Jesus failed to perform was sound prophecy, because that just didn’t happen. Nobody exceeded Jesus’ works. That’s what leads me to believe that’s not what he meant. I think he’s using the term “greater” in a different way.

I heard a church historian say that he was convinced that when Jesus made the statement “Greater works than these will you do,” he was referring to the whole scope of the impact of Christ’s people and his church on the world throughout history. I know a lot of people look at the history of Western civilization and say that the bulk of the church’s influence has been negative—the black eye of the Crusades, the Galileo episode, and holy wars, etc. If you look at the record, you will see that it was the Christian church that spearheaded the abolition of slavery, the end of the Roman arena, the whole concept of education, the concept of charitable hospitals and orphanages, and a host of other humanitarian activities. I think, personally, that that’s what Jesus meant when he talked about greater works.

 

July 11: That We Would Bear Fruit

“I have surely heard Ephraim bemoaning himself thus; You have chastised me, and I was chastised, as a bullock unaccustomed to the yoke: turn you me, and I shall be turned; for you are the Lord my God. Surely after that I was turned, I repented; and after that I was instructed, I smote upon my thigh: I was ashamed, yes, even confounded, because I did bear the reproach of my youth.” Jeremiah 31:18, 19

The divine life in the soul of man is indestructible—it cannot perish; the seed that grace has implanted in the heart is incorruptible—it cannot be corrupted. So far from trials, and conflicts, and storms, and tempests impairing the principle of holiness in the soul, they do but deepen and strengthen it, and tend greatly to its growth. We look at Job; who of mere man was ever more keenly tried?—and yet, so far from destroying or even weakening the divine life within him, the severe discipline of the covenant, through which he passed, did but deepen and expand the root, bringing forth in richer clusters the blessed fruits of holiness. Do you think, dear reader, the divine life in his soul had undergone any change for the worse, when, as the result of God’s covenant dealings with him, he exclaimed—”I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now mine eye sees You: why I abhor myself, and repent in dust and ashes?” No, the pruning of the fruitful branch impairs not, but rather strengthens and renders more fruitful the principle of holiness in the soul.

It is the will of God that His people should be a fruitful people. “This is the will of God, even your sanctification,”—the sanctification of a believer including all fruitfulness. He will bring out His own work in the heart of His child; and never does He take His child in hand with a view of dealing with him according to the tenor of the covenant of grace, but that dealing results in a greater degree of spiritual fruitfulness. Now, when the Lord afflicts, and the Holy Spirit sanctifies the affliction of the believer, is not this again among the costly fruit of that discipline, that self has become more hateful? This God declared should be the result of His dealings with His, ancient people Israel, for their idolatry—”They shall loathe themselves for the evils which they have committed in all their abominations.” And again—”Then shall you remember your ways, and all your doings wherein you have been defiled; and you shall loathe yourselves in your own sight, for all your evils that you have committed.”

To loathe self on account of its sinfulness, to mortify it in all its forms, and to bring it entirely into subjection to the spirit of holiness, is, indeed, no small triumph of Divine grace in the soul, and no mean effect of the sanctified use of the Lord’s dispensations. That must ever be considered a costly mean that accomplished this blessed end. Beloved reader, is your covenant God and Father dealing with you now? Pray that this may be one blessed result, the abasement of self within you, the discovering of it to you in all its deformity, and its entire subjection to the cross of Jesus.

How Would You Like to Wear Your Joy?

Isaiah prophesies:

The ransomed of the Lord shall return and come to Zion with singing; everlasting joy shall be upon their heads; they shall obtain gladness and joy, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.

“Everlasting joy shall be upon their heads.”

Upon their heads as a crown — because joy is the mark by which we share the rule of God.Upon their heads as a wreath — to signify the reward of victory over every sorrow in this life.Upon their heads as a helmet — because the joyful mind is unassailable with Satan’s dark thoughts.Upon their heads as oil — because of God’s anointing, his consecration, his approval.Upon their heads as a hood — to protect from the searing heat and the soaking rain.Upon their heads as an insignia — to show whose they are. They belong to the God of all joy.

You will not have to choose. The everlasting joy of the redeemed is complete. It satisfies every longing, every holy desire. This joy was in the fellowship of the Godhead before the creation of the world. And in the end, it will rest upon us, and make us able to enjoy him with his own joy. And then joy will have its immeasurable effects forever.