Is It Sin to Experience Same-Sex Attraction?

There is no way around it. Dealing with same-sex attraction is messy.

There are many issues that, at least on the surface, do not seem clear. Take this question, for example: Is same-sex attraction (SSA) itself sinful, and if so, how should we deal with it?

Here is my humble attempt at an answer.

First, note briefly three biblical observations:

1. The Bible explicitly says that impenitent homosexual acts, not homosexual desires, keep a person from inheriting the kingdom of God. “Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9–10).

2. The Bible does not seem to explicitly mention same-sex attraction. It is possible that the “dishonorable passions” in Romans 1:26 could be dealing with SSA, but it’s unclear whether this is a reference to simply experiencing an attraction, or following the attraction into active lusting.

3. Our passions may be disordered by the fall of this creation, and yet be distinct from active sinning. Paul said, “the creation was subjected to futility . . . [and will one day] be set free from its bondage to corruption” (Romans 8:20–21). Even Spirit-filled believers groan under this “futility” and “corruption,” including “dishonorable passions.” “We ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies” (Romans 8:23).

Given the above three realities, it seems right to say that while homosexual practice is active sinning, the experience of same-sex attraction need not involve active sinning. John Piper says it like this:

It would be right to say that same-sex desires are sinful in the sense that they are disordered by sin and exist contrary to God’s revealed will. But to be caused by sin and rooted in sin does not make a sinful desire equal to sinning. Sinning is what happens when rebellion against God expresses itself through our disorders (“Let Marriage Be Held In Honor,” emphasis added)

In other words, although SSA is a disordered desire, owing to the fall and thus rooted in sin and broken by sin, nevertheless experiencing SSA is not in itself an act of sinning.

I mean at least two things when I say that experiencing SSA is not in itself an act of sinning.

First, experiencing a general orientation is not a sin.

In our sin nature, all of us are disordered sexually. My sexuality is disordered in that I experience a homosexual orientation. What I mean is that my sexual desires are exclusively “oriented” toward the same (homo) sex. This is true of me whether or not I am experiencing a specific attraction at any given moment. As I sit here writing, I am not experiencing an attraction to another man, but I am still exclusively attracted to men. So at this moment, though I have a homosexual orientation, I do not believe I am sinning in this regard.

Second, experiencing a specific same-sex attraction is not necessarily a sin.

Let’s say that I experience an attraction to another man. I don’t go looking for it, but it rises up spontaneously within me. At this point, my attraction falls into the category of temptation, and I can do one of two things. I can fight the desire in the same manner that anyone who is tempted with pride, jealousy, or fear would, and kill it before I sin. Or I can follow the desire into lust of the mind and eventually the flesh, which is a volitional sin.

When I look at another male and experience the butterflies of attraction, I must lay the desire for inappropriate activity with him at the feet of Jesus, and turn toward the superior promises of reward found in pursuing righteousness. If I do this, even though I have experienced the disordered groan of a broken creation, I have not sinned.

However, a word of caution might be helpful here.

There clearly is a biblical category for being tempted without sinning. Jesus was tempted in every respect, yet remained without sin (Hebrews 4:15), and James 1:14–15 distinguishes between temptation that leads to sin, and sin itself. However, it seems impossible to determine when exactly we have crossed the line from temptation into sin.

For example, how long can I experience the desire before I fight it, and still be blameless? Two seconds? Ten seconds? Half a second? Because Jesus is God, he never crossed the line between temptation and sin — though he knew the agony. But because I am finite and fallen, I cannot definitively discern this line.

Therefore, even though it is possible to be tempted without sinning, it seems wise to agree with David when he says, “Who can discern his errors? Declare me innocent from hidden faults” (Psalm 19:12). I always want to say to the Lord, “If there was any sin in the way I handled that temptation, I am sorry. Keep me from it in the future.”

In summary, SSA is the result of a broken creation, and in that sense it is “sinful” or “dishonorable” (Romans 1:26). It is an effect of the fall. However, experiencing SSA is not the same as sinning. Rather, same-sex attractions should be treated like any temptation to sin. They should be fought with blood-earnestness in a way that recognizes the deceitfulness of the heart and the finitude of the mind.

When I do this — when I fight temptation, turn to Jesus, trust his promises, and rely on his Spirit — God is pleased. He is not mainly displeased because I need to fight, but pleased because I am fighting.

This is good news for all of us who experience all manner of temptations! May this fact lead us, no matter our particular groaning, to rest in Jesus more deeply, fight temptation more fiercely, and look forward to the day when our fight of faith will result in “praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ” (1 Peter 1:7).

How to Experience Scripture with Your Students

In the story of the transfiguration, Jesus takes his friends high atop a mountain to share with them an unfiltered expression of his glory. And yet, glorious as it was, they didn't remain there. Instead, they returned to the valley. This is an important lesson for those of us who, day in and day out, walk with students and witness their great desire to experience more of the Lord. While "mountaintop" experiences can be an valuable part of the Christian life, most of our relationship with God isn't lived out on the mountaintop. How, then, do we spend time with him on a daily basis? We do this through Spirit-led prayer and community, to be sure, but we experience his presence in these things most vividly and assuredly through the Bible.

As John Frame has said, "God's written word has the same power, authority, and divinity as the divine voice from heaven and the word of the prophets and the apostles." In light of this glorious definition, youth pastors have everything to gain, for ourselves and our young friends, when we open up God's Word as a community and experience the glory of Jesus.

Doing youth ministry in New York City means you're able to work alongside some interesting and accomplished lay leaders. For a teenager to sit across from any one of them is an enriching experience. Nevertheless, as a team we're aware that the friendship and "common sense" wisdom we provide won't be enough to sustain the next generation "when the days of trouble come" (Eccl. 12:1).

Our first prayer isn't that our students will grow to become well-rounded individuals but re-created ones. Therefore, parents, pastors, and lay leaders must joyfully prepare in advance and make the most of the opportunities involved in ministering to youth.

Youth leaders must be able to speak God's truth into the given circumstances of a student's life. If you're ready, this can occur spontaneously while riding in a car, playing Settlers of Catan, or taking part in a service project. No formulas. Just two people listening and responding to one another, their stories made sense through his.

Of course, there's no shortage of helpful methods for learning Scripture. One that's shaped me personally is regular group meditation. By "meditation" I mean part rote memorization (chapter and verse) and part prayerful imagination. Beginning on my own, I like to prayerfully consider a cluster of verses based around a particular biblical topic—say, the church.1 Over a week or so, a brief conversational narrative begins to form in my mind that sufficiently explains the topic in a way that's both orthodox and also unique to my personality. My primary purpose is to know God better through his text, then to share it with others doing the same thing. Once I can distill from a cloud of ideas one or two pithy thesis-like statements, I know I've spent transformative time with his Word and am ready to share and discuss with my leader friends.

Sharing is as an act of fellowship. It encourages accountability to the task and is an opportunity to learn from others. As I'm shaped by my time in Scripture, I'm sustained in the valley, and my functional trust in Scripture increases. When we experience and model rich biblical thinking, the incomparable wisdom and power of God's truth is made apparent not only to ourselves, but to others as well.

At the transfiguration Peter, James, and John witness for the first time what we never want to take for granted: that Jesus is the central figure in the story of redemptive history and therefore the central figure of our lives. Eventually they understand their own cultural narrative through him and interpret every problem—big or small—through the lens of his resurrection. So might our students.

Of course, we're able to see what that inner circle was only beginning to comprehend—that the glory of Jesus is greater than our own expectations for our lives. Youth communities that continually place the stories of students within the ultimate story of God may radically transform identities and usher teenagers into lives filled with grace, hope, and purpose.

I first met Davis when he was 15. Though he'd grown up in the church and professed faith in Christ, he recognized a difference between the more realized faith of certain friends and his own. Convicted by their joy, he began to wonder: What more can I do? Still, however, having had no recognizable "mountaintop" experience he walked hesitantly, believing he didn't possess the willpower to "center his life on Christ." Then he heard from Scripture that God's glory was already being displayed through him in ways he took for granted.

In Philippians 2, Paul exhorts the church at Philippi to unity as he repeats a single word: any. "If there is any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy," he writes, "complete my joy by being of same mind, having the same love, being of one accord and of one mind" (Phil. 2:1). Davis discovered in this word that even the smallest amount of God's grace is evidence enough to move forward, to be confident in faith, to do the work of ministry. Realizing Christ is already in the valley alongside him, Davis understood the onus wasn't on him to have some spectacular experience. Recognizing God's work, Davis has reflected God's grace ever since.

This wasn't only freeing for Davis but for many around him as well—even for the pastor. As a newly appointed Bible teacher I learned to trust that when the Lord shapes me through my own careful meditation on Scripture, he uses that process to shape others. As youth leaders, we must understand how our students struggle and think biblically about their lives. In doing so we can walk together through uncertain and often unstable terrain and, because of Christ, move forward with the surest footing and friendship.

1 The Chapel-Meeks Guide (PCA Ordination Material) is an excellent place to start for verses coordinated by topic. Its purpose is to help pastors-in-training develop a working knowledge of orthodox Christian themes.