5 Ways for Building Loving Relationships with Your Neighbors

What does the single mom that’s trying to figure out what to cook for dinner, the college student lacing up his running shoes, and the elderly couple walking their dog all have in common? They’re likely your neighbors.

Right now, there are people of many shapes and sizes with an array of beliefs and backgrounds from a variety of races and regions that live – to be quite honest – uncomfortably close to you.

Think about it: that guy in his boxers playing X-Box across the hall in your dormitory, and the divorcee who’s trying to restart her life next door to your life, both showed up in your life completely unannounced. They just rolled right smack dab into the middle of your world and no one even consulted you. Such is life, as G.K. Chesterton humorously observed, “We make our friends, and we make our enemies, but God makes our next door neighbor.”

What this means, of course, is that something quite profound is at work all around you. God has hand picked and delivered to your doorstep a mysteriously peculiar but perfectly suited group of neighbors. Every person that God brings into your life is full of meaning, so full in fact that God summarized the entire law with one word concerning neighbors, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Galatians 5:14; James 2:8).

Seeing the significance of loving neighbors, an obvious question arises, “How are we to love our neighbors?” The most basic and beautiful answer to this question comes in the gospel. In order for us to love our neighbor we must first know Jesus as neighbor.

Jesus became our neighbor in the incarnation when the eternal Son of God became flesh and took up residence among us (John 1:14). Then, he showed us the extent of neighborly love by coming not to be served but to serve, demonstrating His love on the cross, removing the guilt of our miserable neighborliness and renewing us in love (Matthew 20:28, Romans 5:8). At this moment, he is in heaven preparing a place especially for us, that when he returns, we might forever be neighbors with Him (John 14:2-3).

To live out the ultimate neighbor love of Jesus in the here and now, let’s briefly look at a five practical steps for building loving relationships with neighbors.

1. Meet Your Neighbors

If we ever hope to love our neighbor in a way that even remotely resembles the love of Christ, we must overcome our tendency to remain anonymous. So whether we’re reintroducing ourselves to what’s-his-name next door, or establishing a relationship with the brand new employee in the corner cubicle, a personal introduction with pleasantries is the first step in opening up lines of relationship. Loving your neighbor starts with meeting your neighbor.

2. Refocus Attention on Your Neighbors

The very thought of meeting neighbors causes nervousness for many of us. Sometimes this nervousness is triggered by focusing on how we appear rather than the person appearing before us. To refocus, take a deep breath and ask the Lord for courage. Remind yourself that this person shares with you in the image of God, in being a sinner, and in desperately desiring love and care. This little exercise will often clear your heart of anxiety and refocus attention on your neighbor.

3. Make Notes about Your Neighbors

If you are often forgetful of names or important personal details like family relations, occupation, etc. let me encourage you to commit that information to writing soon after the encounter. One of the most helpful practices I’ve found in neighboring is simply making notes about the people I meet and revisiting those notes often to refresh my memory.

4. Plan to Follow Up with Your Neighbors

Make every effort to beat down a path through the hedge. Lengthy silence will send a relationship into limbo; so seek to keep short accounts with neighbors by targeting regular times for reconnection and deepening of the relationship. Informal hospitality is quite possibly the best path forward. Be open to spontaneity. Keep it simple. Sometimes lemonade on the front porch or a plate of cookies is better than a four-course meal on fine china.

5. Step into Service of Your Neighbors

Listen and look for ways to care for ordinary needs in your neighbors life. If they’re out of town, volunteer to mow the grass or check the mail while they’re gone. If they’re having car trouble, offer to drive them to work or make a grocery store run. Offer your time, talents, treasure, and yes, even your tools. Take advantage of the opportunities before you, and then purpose to walk through the open door.

These five instructions are not exhaustive by any stretch—just a few simple ways to get down the neighbor-loving road. More important than what you do, however, is the purpose for which you do it. Each of the five points above, or any additional steps you may take are not just good things to do but occasions to participate in and share the love of Christ. In being good neighbors, we are positioned to touch others with the truth and power of the neighbor-loving gospel.

What step will you take this week to build a closer relationship with your neighbors?

Nate Shurden is pastor of Cornerstone Presbyterian Church in Franklin, TN. He blogs and can be followed on Twitter @NateShurden.

 

Building the Minister’s Library: Historical Theology

Building the Minister’s Library: Historical Theology

Historical theology is the branch of theology which examines the doctrines of the church within their historical context and development. Historical theologians investigate the theology of individuals and schools of thought, in order to determine the continuity and discontinuity within the broader Christian tradition. It is always best done when one investigates the original sources and attempts to hear the authors in their own thought-categories.

Berkhof, Louis. The History of Christian Doctrines. London: Banner of Truth Trust, 1969. Not as popular as his Systematic Theology, but still good.

Congar, Yves. A History of Theology. Garden City, N.Y.: Doubleday, 1968. Catholic in perspective, but still useful for the early and medieval periods.

Dorner, I. A., George Robson, and Sophia Taylor. History of Protestant Theology: Particularly in Germany, Viewed According to Its Fundamental Movement and in Connection with the Religious, Moral, and Intellectual Life. Edinburgh: T.&T. Clark, 1871. Obviously limited to Protestant thought. Exhibits the state of historical theology in the nineteenth century.

Hagenbach, K. R. A History of Christian Doctrines. Edinburgh: T. & T. Clark, 1880. Like other 19th century works, Hagenbach adopts an encyclopedia-structured division of theology.

Hägglund, Bengt. History of Theology. St. Louis: Concordia Pub. House, 1968. This was a required textbook in my seminary days. Still recommended.

Harnack, Adolf von. History of Dogma. New York: Dover Publications, 1961. One may not agree with Harnack’s conclusions, but one will need to read him as an influential theologian.

Neander, August, J. L. Jacobi, and J. E. Ryland. Lectures on the History of Christian Dogmas. London: H.G. Bohn, 1858. Similar to Hagenbach’s methodology.

Pelikan, Jaroslav. The Christian Tradition; A History of the Development of Doctrine. Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1975. Pelikan has become a standard text for many students. This is an exhaustive treatment by a prodigious scholar.

Seeberg, Reinhold. Text-Book of the History of Doctrines. Grand Rapids: Baker Book House, 1952. Find a used copy if you can.

Welch, Claude. Protestant Thought in the Nineteenth Century. New Haven: Yale University Press, 1972. Welch picks up nicely where all the 19th century textbooks leave off.

 

Building the Minister’s Library: The Heidelberg Catechism

Building the Minister’s Library: The Heidelberg Catechism

Certainly the most familiar and beloved of the standards of unity within the Reformed tradition is the Heidelberg Catechism. Its simplicity and warm devotion have nurtured Reformed laypeople for hundreds of years. I like how Howard Hageman concluded his essay in Thompson’s book, “Here is the summary of the faith, but one that can be said on the knees. A whole faith for a whole man for the whole of his life – and for the whole church. This is an instrument for Christian nurture. This is the Heidelberg Catechism.”

Ames, William. A Sketch of the Christian's Catechism. Grand Rapids, Mich: Reformation Heritage Books, 2008. One might not have imagined Ames, a British puritan and Ramist, writing a commentary on the Heidelberg, but here it is with a helpful introduction by Joel Beeke and Todd Rester. Upon further examination one will notice that this is not truly a commentary on the Catechism, but a commentary on the Scripture of the Catechism.

DeYoung, Kevin. The Good News We Almost Forgot: Rediscovering the Gospel in a 16th Century Catechism. Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers, 2010. DeYoung shows us that one can be a pastor on the cutting edge and remain confessional and theologically orthodox. This book is an answer to his earlier book, Why We’re Not Emergent…because we believe we that the Scriptures, as summarized by our confessions, are sufficient for the shaping of our pastoral ministry.

Klooster, Fred H. Our Only Comfort: A Comprehensive Commentary on the Heidelberg Catechism. Grand Rapids, Mich: Faith Alive Christian Resources, 2001. Klooster provides us a contemporary (and yes comprehensive!) commentary on the Heidelberg, writing with the church in view.

Olevian, Caspar, and Lyle D. Bierma. A Firm Foundation: An Aid to Interpreting the Heidelberg Catechism. Carlisle [England]: Paternoster Press, 1995. In this edition Olevian comments on Days 5 through 24. This study is mostly for students, edited by one of the most competent scholars on this subject.

Spijker, W. van 't, and Gerrit Bilkes. The Church's Book of Comfort. Grand Rapids, Mich: Reformation Heritage Books, 2008. Van’t Spijker headlines a list of Dutch scholars who contribute essays on the history, theology and impact of the Catechism.

Thompson, Bard. Essays on the Heidelberg Catechism. Philadelphia: United Church Press, 1963. Includes several accessible articles on the Catechism’s historical background and Christian nurture.

Ursinus, Zacharias. The Commentary of Dr. Zacharias Ursinus on the Heidelberg Catechism. Phillipsburg, NJ: Presbyterian and Reformed Pub. Co, 1985. The standard commentary used by many generations to catechize and preach.

Veldkamp, Herman. Children of the Lord's Day: Notes on the Heidelberg Catechism. Eugene, Or: Wipf and Stock Pub, 2002. Extremely beneficial for anyone tasked with the responsibility of teaching the Catechism.

Williamson, G. I. The Heidelberg Catechism: A Study Guide. Phillipsburg, N.J.: P & R Pub, 1993. A study with brief comments and questions for discussion which can be used for teaching or leading a group.

 

Building the Minister’s Library: Abraham Kuyper

Building the Minister’s Library: Abraham Kuyper 

Abraham Kuyper was a remarkable man. An ordained minister and Doctor of Sacred Theology, he pastored churches, edited newspapers and wrote many helpful books. Yet, his service to God extended well beyond pastoring and writing. He served in the Dutch parliament as Leader of the Anti-Revolutionary Party, then as Prime Minster and ultimately as Minister of the State. He also founded the Free University of Amsterdam. Below is a representative list of ten translated works.

Abraham Kuyper: A Centennial Reader. Ed. James D. Bratt. Grand Rapids, Mich: W.B. Eerdmans, 1998. Bratt provides us with a useful collection of essays, addresses and sermons, including “Conservatism and Orthodoxy: False and True Preservation;” “It Shall Not Be So Among You;” “Common Grace;” and “Sphere Sovereignty.”

Calvinism: Six Stone Foundation Lectures. Grand Rapids, Mich: Eerdmans, 1943. Kuyper delivered the “Stone Lectures” at Princeton Theological Seminary in 1898. It remains a foundational work for anyone addressing the issue of the church’s relationship with the state.

“Calvinism: Source and Stronghold of Our Constitutional Liberties (1874).” Trans. by J. Hendrik de Vries. Bibliotheca Sacra 52 (July and October 1895): 385-410, 646-75. A shorter form is included in Bratt’s work, but this version is the complete one.

The Implications of Public Confession. Trans. by Henry Zylstra. Grand Rapids, Mich: Zondervan Pub. House, 1934. An exploration of the path from baptism to the public confession of one’s faith as one becomes a member of a local church.

To Be Near Unto God. Trans. by J. Hendrik de Vries. New York: Macmillan Co, 1925. This exceptional collection of meditations demonstrates that academically trained, politically engaged Christians can also pen beautiful, biblical devotions. You should get a copy of this.

The Practice of Godliness. Trans. by Marian M. Schoolland. Grand Rapids, Mich: Wm. Eerdmans Pub. Co, 1948. Ranks among the best accounts of the Christian life in Reformed circles.

Principles of Sacred Theology. Trans. J. Hendrick De Vries with an intro. by Benjamin B. Warfield. Grand Rapids: W.B. Eerdmans Pub. Co, 1954. I included this Reformed classic in my bibliography on the study of theology. Still considered highly useful for seminary students and pastors.

The Revelation of St. John. Trans. J. Hendrik de Vries. Grand Rapids: Eerdmans Co, 1964.There are few Reformed commentaries on the book of the Revelation. Although this work was written as the fourth and final volume of Kuyper’s “The Consumation of the World,” it represents a futurist approach to John’s vision.

The Work of the Holy Spirit. Trans. by Henri De Vries with an intro. by Benjamin B. Warfield. New York: Funk & Wagnalls, 1900. In his introduction, B. B. Warfield said, “Wherever men are busying themselves with holy and happy meditations on the Holy Ghost and His work, it is safe to say the foundations of a true spiritual life are laid, and the structure of a rich spiritual life is rising.”

Our Worship. Trans. by Harry Boonstra. Grand Rapids, Mich: William B. Eerdmans Pub. Co, 2009. A massive work on one of the essential activities of the church.

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